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Black Arrow Down Under

Filk of: Down Under by Men At Work.

Subject: British space programme, launch of Prospero X-3 on Black Arrow R3.

Lyrics

Even though the plan's a zombie
Already cancelled by Sir Humphrey
I met an engineer, he had a hammer
He used it for adjusting Gamma
And he said

We're gonna launch from a land down under
Will we make orbit I wonder
Fire in the sky and thunder
To wake a na-tion from slumber.

On the pad at the Woomera Test Range
We had spent the last of our loose bus change
I said, "What have we forgotten?"
And he just smiled, as he pressed the big red button.
And he said

Lift-off from the land down under
Will Black Arrow work I wonder
Fire in the sky and thunder
To wake a na-tion from slumber.

Lyin' in the bunker complex
Message come in on the Telex
I said to the man "Is it official?
Did Fairbanks receive the signal?"
And he said

Orbit made from the land down under (Oh yeah yeah)
Cancellation was a blunder
Though we split the sky with thunder
Now we quench our fire and slumber

Rockets in a land down under
Hydrogen peroxide wonder
Since the fire and the thunder
For half a century or more we slumber

Rockets in a land down under
Hydrogen peroxide wonder
Since the fire and the thunder
For half a century or more we slumber

Rockets in a land down under
Hydrogen peroxide wonder
Since the fire and the thunder
For half a century or more we slumber

It's a SYN

Filk of: It's a Sin by the Pet Shop Boys.

Subject: TCP segment flags.

Lyrics

When I look at the wireshark
at first it leaves me in the dark
what's this connection from the SPARC?
Every machine I'm talking to
on any port or host or route
has one thing in common too

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a SYN
It's a SYN
Every stream I've ever run
Every host I dial to
Every port I've ever seen
The first thing I see going through
It's a SYN

Establishing the TCP
no ACK or FIN or RST
they wouldn't quite succeed
On every port I'm open to
no matter when or where or who
has one initial flag that's true

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a SYN
It's a SYN
Every stream I've ever run
Every host I dial to
Every port I've ever seen
The first thing I see going through
It's a SYN

Calling connect() on
IPs that route to it
Found a VXLAN
tunneled right through it
Wherever you sought me
I didn't listen()
Packets you brought me
but I didn't care
and I sent them to /dev/null

So I look at the packet trace
the chains of ACKs and SACKs I chase
until I reach their starting place
For every app I'm talking to
on any port or host or route
has one thing in common too

It's a, it's a, it's a, it's a SYN
It's a SYN
Every stream I've ever run
Every host I dial to
Every port I've ever seen
The first thing I see going through
It's a SYN

Newton's Reaction Rule

Filk of: Barrett's Privateers by Stan Rogers.

Subject: transorbital space tugs.

Acknowledgements: the first verse was written by @DaveHinerman; I took the idea and ran with it.

Lyrics

Oh the year was twenty seventy-eight
   -- How I wish I was in atmosphere!
An order come up from Space Control
to the leakiest tug in orbit, oh...

So sing we all:
I supply the delta-vee to deliver your sat
to apogee.  Low or high;
I've got a choking flow of hydrogen fuel,
the mass for Newton's reaction rule.

Oh, Ell-One Station's comms are down
   -- How I wish I was in atmosphere!
It's TCAS 'til they're back online
You squawk your ident and I'll squawk mine.

So sing we all:
I supply the delta-vee...

I can't deny a quickening pulse
   -- How I wish I was in atmosphere!
When the board turns red with an oxygen leak
and I can't resupply for at least a week.

So sing we all:
I supply the delta-vee...

Transfer out from the venting tank
   -- How I wish I was in atmosphere!
As the gauges drop behind the glass
Pumping like madmen to save the gas.

So sing we all:
I supply the delta-vee...

Oh the solar array's a shortin' out
   -- How I wish I was in atmosphere!
And a bloody great flare is on the way
So I can't stay long on EVA.

So sing we all:
I supply the delta-vee...

The payload's shifting in me hold
   -- How I wish I was in atmosphere!
There's a gorram sat come loose in there
And it's more'n my RCS can bear.

So sing we all:
I supply the delta-vee...

Then at length we cast the sats away
   -- How I wish I was in atmosphere!
Our job's been done, now homeward go
But the remass levels are mighty low.

So sing we all:
Running short on delta-vee to propulsively brake
at perigee.  Low or high;
I've gotta save the last of my hydrogen fuel,
the mass for Newton's reaction rule.

There's but one thing left I can do
   -- Gonna have to use the atmosphere!
So pucker up for an aerobrake
My rusty hull weren't built to take.

So sing we all:
I supply the delta-vee...

Now some folks pray when danger's near
   -- I can feel the drag from atmosphere!
But you'd better hope you're a pilot ace
'cos your God can't help you when you're up in space.

So sing we all:
I supply the delta-vee...